Coming undone

 My mind has had enough.

 
"Keep holding on
When my brain's ticking like a bomb
Guess the black thoughts
Have come again to get me."
It hurts,my head hurts so bad.The fury is chaining me in reality,I can't escape inside my mind to heal my wounds and it pisses me off even more.Black ropes are encircling my hands and feet,can't move,can't hear,can't see.Cry.
"Sweet bitter words
Unlike nothing I have heard
Sing along, mockingbird
You don't affect me."
I was expecting this to happen,but it still hurts.Your words left a deep gush inside my mind.Haha,so I was the black sheep,the sacrificed lamb,you had to eliminate one so I was the best choice.It's okay,really,it is.I already knew life hates me,you don't have to point it out so vehemently.It's just that now I hate you,I really do.Scream.
"That's right
Deliver it to my heart
Please strike
Be deliberate ."
Please strike,that's why you are here,right?What do you know about me,huh?Don't compare me with the others,I know I'm better.My dignity,voice and mind is all I have so I'll hold tight on them.Say the words,I know you want to crush me.But I won't let you affect me.Growing pain.
"Wait, I'm starting to suffocate
And soon I anticipate
I'm coming undone
What looks so strong, so delicate."
I can't breath,this tears are choking me out.My heart trembles with rage,my nails dug deep in my palms,blood is trailing.I may look strong,but I'm more fragile than you think.Your eyes tell everything,you don't like me.It's okay,I don't care.What hurts is the fact that I'm the only one who pays the price for her mistakes.No air.
"Choke, choke again
I thought my demons were my friends
Getting me in the end
They're out to get me."
Gasping for air,I remember all the times life slapped me in the face.It's like it's trying to tell me that I'm not allowed to be on the stage.It doesn't let me sing,it doesn't let me live.I befriended my demons long ago,but it looks like they abandoned me when I needed them most.Choke.
"Since I was young
I tasted sorrow on my tongue
And this sweet sugar gun
Doe's not protect me."
I know what it's despair,been there,done that.Sorrow is always by my side,waiting for the perfect moment to strike me again.You gave it an opportunity,but I won't let it get me...too much.I try again to get inside my mind but,again,I get no response.My head hurts even more now,the chains are getting heavier.Why do I even bother trying to live how I want?It's obvious that I'm not allowed.Blank.
"I'm trying to hold it together
Head is lighter than a feather
Looks like I'm not getting better
Not getting better."
Ah,the pain is not getting any better,it strikes me on and on.I can't feel my mind anymore,it's like it left me alone.But I don't want it to leave.I don't want to be alone.You judged me,you missunderstood me,you hurt me.But it's okay,I'm getting used to that.The black lamb has been sacrificed.