Resonance

  I am numbness.

 
  At times like this I am the most sensitive.Don't get me wrong,I'm not talking about emotional or tissue sensitive.It means that my brain is the most perceptive now.I know everything,yet nothing.I am a myriad of things,yet not a single one.I am inspired even by the mere breath of a living being and everything I know and begin to know gets mixed up.My senses are hired up,I feel exaltation and nothingness at the same time,the words in my head are a blurr and I succeed nothing.Even though knowledge is there,at my fingertips,I don't put to work a single muscle to achieve it.Why?Because,like I said,everything is amped up and,in the end,it mindfucks me until I snap out of it.This duality is killing me.I understand nothing and trying to sort out the words swarming inside hurts.A numb pain,the worst kind.I don't know what to think,who to be,how to live."Be yourself" it's bullshit.Say that to the boring peeps out there because in my case,it doesn't work.I don't have a self,I have so many that I,too,am confused.Who am I?Who should I choose to be?How can I answer that question with a satisfying reply when I want to be everything.I won't settle just for one self,my mind can't comprehend something so dull.So I end up being nothing.Nobody.Just a breathing shell with a soul attached to it,patched up from so many things that it became an abomination.Fractured selfs sewn together throughout my life.My heartstrings chime,my ribcage vibrates.I want to resonate with somebody.