Dissolving

"Shame,such a shame
I think I kind of lost myself again
Day,yesterday
Really should be leaving but I stay."
  Waking up,a new day,it's gray outside and I feel the same.Empty.Like a marionette,moving,breathing,watching,dreaming,living with no purpose whatsoever.Headphones are on my pillow;I fell asleep with music again.Can't really figure out if they're mine or yours.The lingering agony of an eerie dream covers my skin;it must have been your music.I like your music,it makes me feel.There's fog outside and ashen clouds clog the sky,a warning of rain.My vision is swirling with images of you and Death.
"Say,say my name
I need a little love to ease the pain."
  If you say my name now,I won't hear it.The blood pumping in my ears makes it impossible to distinguish words.Just a little mad,nothing to worry about.I just need to let it take over,only for a little while.I close my eyes and lean back in the chair.Music in my ears,making out only the tune,there are too many thoughts plaguing my brain,too much blood running through my veins.It's chilly outside but it feels real.Sometimes I need to feel reality,to keep from crossing all the way.It will probably start to rain,yet I don't move.Water is good,it gets you back to your senses.If there was pain,maybe it was better.But it's only numbness.What do you think,if I ask for a little love,will I feel it?
"'Cause it feels like I've been
I've been here before
You are not my saviour
But I still don't go."
  After all,you can't save me neither.Because I wasn't made to be saved,I was made to feel.To feel and drown,to save and die.Yet,I'm chained to you.I can't leave,or so I say.These strings attached to me are so thin,they can be cut so easily.Will you mind releasing me?You don't do it.And I don't go.
"Fade,made to fade
Passion's overrated anyway."
  Can't feel the love.I hear again.I open my eyes and see that the ashen clouds unleashed themselves,pouring over my slumped body,drenching me to the bone,the water seeping inside my core.Strangely,I breathe again with ease.The shadow of insanity fades away and I'm seeing you again.I look at the headphones in my hands;I think I broke your music,sorry.
  There's no such thing as love for me but there is a feeling you will never understand.Because it was made for me,so I can look at you and link your soul with my dissolving one.